“You don’t have kids with the intent of retaining a clean house. Kids are sources of chaos and disorder. Get over that fact. Where does that disorder come from? It’s because they are experimenting with their environment. Everything is new to them.”
— Neil deGrasse Tyson
When I was younger, I had a vision for the way my home would look when I was an adult.
It would look like something from a Michael Mann film — all chrome and steel with clean lines and large windows. And it would be pristine. There would be nothing out of place.
There are people that will tell you that places don’t hold memories, that they’re stored in your head and in your heart, always with you.
It is true that we carry memories with us, but it’s also true that a place, an object, a song, or even a smell can act as a time machine, transporting us back to a time and place that we had thought was lost to the sands of time.
“Having a two-year-old is like having a blender without a lid.”
— Jerry Seinfeld
This is a dispatch from the war. I’m writing this from the trenches, in the heart of the conflict.
After what has felt like hours of intense battle, the rebel soldier has deployed her ultimate weapon, the one that is unleashed when all else fails: standing in the center of the kitchen, screaming at the top of her lungs as droplets of saltwater jump from her eyes.
What could have caused such a reaction? What did the oppressive totalitarian government do to the people to cause this emotionally-charged attack from the rebel?
My second child, my second daughter, turns two today.
My first, the oldest, is an eight-year-old that acts like she’s 14, and since there is such a large gap between number one and number two – for a very, very, very, very good reason – the past two years have been a refresher course in infant and toddler life.
One question that COVID-19 has brought to the forefront of our societal conversations is, Who are the essential workers?
The first professions that immediately spring to mind are obvious: doctors, nurses, firefighters, police officers. However, the pandemic has proven that there are additional tiers and classes of essential workers, including grocery store employees, delivery drivers, warehouse employees, non-frontline healthcare employees, and teachers.
We’ve all seen it — an image of a father and his child, perfectly framed, beautifully lit, adorned with smiles and a caption of how much they adore being a parent.
I look at those photos and I’m envious. I have a few of them, but not a collection like some I’ve seen online. I’ve been to wonderful places with my children and we’ve experienced some fantastic things, but nearly all of my pictures are either selfies or family poses that often look forced.
It’s a cliché that having a child changes your life forever, but things become clichés because they’re true, and one of the biggest adjustments is just how much stuff children come with and how difficult it is to keep it all organized.
The Passion of Christopher Pierznik 