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A Return to the Terrible Twos

A Dispatch from the Trenches

via The New York Times

“Having a two-year-old is like having a blender without a lid.”

— Jerry Seinfeld

This is a dispatch from the war. I’m writing this from the trenches, in the heart of the conflict.

After what has felt like hours of intense battle, the rebel soldier has deployed her ultimate weapon, the one that is unleashed when all else fails: standing in the center of the kitchen, screaming at the top of her lungs as droplets of saltwater jump from her eyes.

What could have caused such a reaction? What did the oppressive totalitarian government do to the people to cause this emotionally-charged attack from the rebel?

Dinner was served.